Non-events fill my days « Dusty Shoes

Non-events fill my days « Dusty Shoes

Dusty Shoes

Dusty Shoes - Upping the Stakes

Dusty Shoes

Dusty Shoes

Dusty Shoes

New Blog : Dusty Shoes

I've never been very good at titles.

Saturdays are our lazy days. We don't exercise and treat it as a day off due to Fireman's 13 hour work day and the fact that he gets Sundays off. It's the night we go out if we so desire, stay in and play computer games, and stay up until the early hours of the morning, sleeping Sunday away.

Because Fireman is at work all day Saturdays I've made it a (bad) habit of sleeping until 2pm, then starting my day from there. It's not that I have a problem being on my own, or get bored... it's just that I don't HAVE to get up, so I never have. But I can't do this any more. I'm sleeping way too much and need to stop myself. I now have an 8 hour limit. I set an alarm for 9 hours after I go to bed, as it takes me about an hour to fall asleep, then I force myself out of bed. The first few times I did this I fell asleep by 10am on the lounge (I get up at 7.15am). Other times I force myself to do something outside of the house so that I can't fall asleep.

This morning I decided that I needed to be productive. Dad is building us a new cupboard for our kitchen so I needed to get the kitchen clean. Considering I still had boxes from when we moved (in November!) and from Fireman's mother that needed to me unpacked, cleaned and sorted I figured that I'd do that. I started at 9am, and finished at 6pm. I ran out of hot water three times. I tripped over the dog twice. But it's done, and my kitchen is unrecognizable from the towers of dishes that were there this morning. Considering I despise dishes and generally refuse to do them until I'm out of cutlery I am very proud to have done this. Now it's clean I want to keep it that way. For the first time since I was living at my mothers two years ago, the dishes used for tonights dinner are cleaned and put away before going to bed. HOURS before going to bed in fact.

I figure if I can change my diet and exercise, I can change my slobbish householdy ways. I even cleaned the bathroom... including the shower, and behind the toilet. I NEVER do that, unless we have guests. It's only dust after all...

So tomorrow I can relax. I have a load of washing to do that I remembered needed doing, but forgot to put on today, so that'll be it for my householdyness tomorrow.

Now, for your viewing pleasure.. some random photos from today.

Fireman, entering some of our hundreds of DVDs into our fancy DVD recording system (so we know who we lend them too, and they can't come back with "but that's MINE!!"). Next week, DVD name tags!

This is Shrek. He guards our DVD collection from sneak thief's. There's also a Terminator head, but he didn't fit on the shelf. And Tigger just didn't seem to fit the part....

Rusty always randomly reminds me of Christmas. I'm not a huge Christmas person. I'm not religious and it's a religious holiday so I don't see the point in celebrating it. But Rustys white fur with her red collar ALWAYS reminds me of Christmas. It makes me want to wrap tinsel around her... but that seems a little mean...

And I don't have any... I looked.

Nostalgia

I spent some of this evening uploading photos to a flickr account which I just created. Just trying to organise myself all in one place, and flickr seemed as good a place as any. I found a few photos on my hard drive that surprised me. Like a few from a few years ago of myself. one photos in particular stuck out for me.

2006-2007ish... I think

This was taken the last time I lived here. Three or four years ago I think it was. At this point in time I thought I was very overweight. Yes, I'm wearing a mini skirt... but now 30kgs heavier I still wear mini skirts, so that means nothing. :P I don't care how other people see me, but I honestly, truly thought I was overweight. I had a pudgy belly which I hated, and huge legs, and pudgy cheeks. I don't know what weight I was, because I refused to get on a scale. I was in my late 50-60ks though (my ideal weight now).

October 09

This was me at my heaviest. 84kgs. I do have belly fat, and love handles, and legs that meet in the middle, and fat ankles, and a double chin and my boobs are twice the size.

What the hell was I complaining about? I realise that in the first photo I was in my late teens, single, working full timeand constantly busy. And now I'm all shacked up, unemployed, lazy and bored. I know HOW I got fat. I'm just pissed that I can never get back to what I was because unfortunately I can't be 19 again. But at least I can get back to that size and I'll be HAPPY about it. Not winge and complain like I do now because I can't find clothes that fit.

Oh, and I'm 81kgs now. And I've lost 1cm from my waist, hips, thighs, arms and calves. So I'm a happy chappy.

Small Accomplishments

Two weeks ago I set up an excel file with a training program for myself in one tab, an exercise times tab, and a food listing tab.

I have all of these things on Sparkpeople, but I wanted my own, deathly accurate list (hard to do on SP because of the country differences and limited functions of decimal places.

When I made this file I promised myself that I wouldn't lie, add or omit things, change the plan to make myself look better, or to give up on it. I needed to be accountable for my lack of motivation. Be accountable for the reason I am in this mess to begin with.

To be honest, I've hate every minute of it. If I miss a scheduled exercise I highlight the box in bright red and make a note as to why there is red that day. If I complete the task then it gets to be fluro green. If I miss a meal it  gets a red makeover.

Basically, there's lots of red. Red everywhere, for two weeks. There's green splotches here and there, but it's mostly red. There's excuses in the notes section and there's this thought in the back of my head that says "so what if I'm fat?? So what if I smoke?? So what if I drink??" But I know I don't want any of those things. Not really.

Today a miracle happened, and I didn't notice it until I entered todays antics in the little excel boxes.

Every. Single. Box. Is Green.

I did all four of my workouts today, and I did them well. I ate three main meals and two snacks today, and fell within my calorie range for the day.

Yesterday was three weeks to the day that I quit junk food, cigarettes and alcohol. Admittedly, some junk food has creeped back in, but it all falls within my ranges, and always as a snack, not a meal and not a huge serving.

I had my last official appointment with my counsellor today. He said that my diet and exercise regime has done better for me than anything else could have possibly done. And the fact that I did it voluntarily, with no coaxing from anyone else means that I truly am alright. Sure, I'm going to come across things that bring back past memories, but I can handle them, and I will be ok.

I start my volunteer work at the drive-in tomorrow night. Just cooking hot dogs, hamburgers and donuts in the kitchen, but it's something. It'll get me out of the house, I'll be on my feet in a hot kitchen, and I'll get to meet new people.

My counsellor is going to hook me up with a woman that's set up self defence training in town, so that'll be something different I can do to work some more muscles. Over the next few weeks I'm going to need to step up my training a bit otherwise my body will get used to it. Adding pushups and situps is a new priority, definitely.

In other news, I'll say it again, this town is silly. The local pool (and ONLY place to swim in town that's bigger than a bath tub) closes for "winter." Winter here is everyone elses summer, but from April 28th until some time in October, we have no swimming pool. This annoys me to no end, as I have navy training to do, and that involves swimming. So I have two months to get myself up to speed, and fix my swimming. It cost $10 every time we go, and we can only afford to go three times a week, so it looks like I have a lot of work on my hands.

I can do it.

Yep.