Finding Myself

I am twenty three years old and legally I am an adult. I have been for four and a half years. I can vote, buy alcohol and cigarettes, get a loan, get a credit card, and if I do anything wrong it's a not so comfortable place in a jail cell for me.

Do I feel like an adult? No. I'm not even sure what an adult is to be, to be honest. I mean, children drink, smoke, have babies, and go to younger versions of jail. The only difference is that now I can vote and get myself into a lot of debt with little effort.

So here I am, sitting in my lounge room of my rented house watching Army Wives on TV, my partner of over 12 months sitting behind me playing facebook games, two cats asleep in their various stolen furniture, a dogs digging up my yard, a pile of bills next to the phone waiting to be paid, and I still feel like I did at 15. I have no direction in life. I have no dreams that I'm actively working towards.

I believe I have spent 2009 trying to figure out what an adult is, and how I can be one. I've watched other people go about their day and they all seem so much more mature and older than me. Yet they have the same things I do, do the same things. So obviously this isn't the problem. I'm thinking it's more that I've just lost who  I am along the way and need to find her again. So I've decided that 2010 will be my year to figure out who I really am. Find out what my dreams and interests are, and work at them. Sitting around doing nothing isn't going to help anyone and I'm just going to fall further.

My resolutions are listed at the side of the blog. If I come up with more I'll add them to the list. I'll use this blog to vomit my words into reality and see what happens. Enjoy!